Poo's Dog and Pony Show

Hot, Hot, Heat

poo — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 17:03:40 +0000

If you didn’t hate LeBron James before last night’s hour long masturbatory session on ESPN, you should now. Over and over during “The Decision,” LeBron stated that his ultimate decision to sign with the Miami Heat was based on the opportunity to play with his friends Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade. This would seem to corroborate a report from Bill Simmons from ESPN when he stated:

A few weeks after the 2008 Summer Olympics, Someone Who Knows Things told me the following rumor: LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh and Chris Paul became such good friends during the 2007 Olympic trials, and then during their 2008 Olympics excursion in Beijing, that they actually made a pact in China to play together. You know, like one of those pacts in a chick flick where two friends agree to get married if both of them are single when they turn 40.

This seems like a noble idea and is certainly something I would have considered to be a good idea…if I was in high school or college. LeBron got to do this during high school but didn’t go to college. The last time LeBron won anything was during high school, so why not go back to those days of playing with your buddies and not having to grow up or be responsible for making those around you better.

My problem with LeBron’s decision to create a superteam is that this is completely antithetical to his stated intentions. When discussing his impending free agency, LeBron spoke of reviving the NBA with rivalries to combat the league’s historical best. Bird vs. Magic. Jordan vs. everyone else. Instead of Bird vs. Magic, NBA fans now have Bird and Magic (plus the overrated Bosh) on the same team. Somewhere in LA, Kobe is laughing at the thought that LeBron has admitted defeat. The only way James could conceive of to put an end to Kobe’s dominance is to take the path of least resistance. Not surprising for someone of questionable immaturity and unquestionable egomania.

The response from the national media has been less than kind towards LeBron’s decision. A few of my personal favorite remarks:

“That is what James proved himself to be Thursday night: A contradiction. An athlete who loves the chase but can’t handle the failure. A star who craves the bright lights, but only wants them to show his good side.” -Ken Berger

“I can barely write his name, I’m so disappointed in him. James just gave up his claim to all-time greatness. He obviously doesn’t know it, but that’s what he did. He just put an asterisk by the titles he’ll win in Miami, because when he wins those five titles in the next five years, we’ll know he couldn’t do it like Michael Jordan did it. He couldn’t do it like Tim Duncan did it. He couldn’t do it like Larry Bird, Isiah Thomas, Magic Johnson or Hakeem Olajuwon did it. Hell, he couldn’t even do it like Kobe Bryant did it.” -Gregg Doyel

“LeBron James just jumped into an elevator and wants us to think he can fly. Sorry, but we know better. We know that he did something Michael, Magic, Bird and Bill Russell never would have done. We know he ditched Cleveland for an All-Star team…That’s one of the great ironies of this — James is trying to flee pressure, but he will just face more of it. He is trying to maximize his “brand,” but he just damaged it.” -Michael Rosenberg

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Summer of LeBron about to come to an end…finally

poo — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 23:35:33 +0000

LeBron James is undoubtedly a great basketball player. He’s a global brand for Nike and even non-sports fans know his name and face. Hailing from Akron, Ohio, he’s already a legend in the state having now played for the Cleveland Cavaliers for the past 7 seasons. But the fact is, I didn’t actually start to hate LeBron until over the past few months. It started even before this free agent ridiculousness. A couple of months ago, I watched “More Than a Game” on MTV. “MTAG” details LeBron’s high school team, with a heavy focus on “The King,” as he was clearly the straw that stirred the drink. In this movie, LeBron’s immaturity and ego were on display if one knows the signs to look for.

Without a doubt, it would be practically impossible for anyone, let alone a high school student with a single mom, to keep a level head with the amount of pressure, scrutiny, and praise being heaped upon them. I get that. Unfortunately, he simply hasn’t matured. A number of times during this year’s NBA postseason, LeBron could be seen completely disregarding his coach’s commands. Not surprisingly, the coach, Mike Brown, was dismissed at the end of the season. Since the end of the season, one in which the Cavs had the NBA’s best record, LeBron has been on a whirlwind tour of prospective suitors for his services.

Today, it is being reported that LeBron will finally announce his decision during a one hour event on ESPN Thursday at 9 p.m. ET. Of course, it has to be a one hour special for what should be a five minute announcement. More ego stroking by a player that to this point hasn’t won anything. Make no mistake about it, ESPN would have given James an hour regardless of when he wanted it. He wanted it Thursday. Is it really a coincidence that he waited until Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh made their intentions known before he announced his announcement. No way. LeBron wanted to be the last free agent domino to fall. Anything else would have been to sell his ego short.

Here’s what it boils down to: If James stays in Cleveland, he will not win an NBA title anytime soon. Other teams will simply not give Cleveland a sign-and-trade, even though the Raptors said they were willing to do so with Bosh. While this little free agent soap opera is most certainly about money, it also should be about championships. An NBA title isn’t the most important thing in the world, but there are few men alive that are not driven by ego at least in some part. For someone like James, whose sole purpose since high school has been to win basketball games, an NBA championship is the only thing that can come close to satisfying his now huge ego.

Do you think Chris Carter feels like the Alpha male hanging around with someone like Michael Irvin? Or that Dan Marino does when playing golf with John Elway? No way man. Because above all else, egos can only be satisfied by domination. And that, my friends, is something that LeBron has not been completely capable of yet.

Big Brother 12 is one day away!

poo — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 12:42:04 +0000

If you’re like me and watch a number of reality shows, then you most likely are a fan of the CBS amalgam of awesomeness known as Big Brother. For a number of reasons, BB is the king of all reality shows (sorry Survivor/Real World/American Idol). Between three episodes a week, houseguests lie, cheat, manipulate, and sleep with one another. It really is an amazing cultural experiment that I look forward to every summer. This summer, for the first time, I will be watching Big Brother After Dark on Showtime in addition to the regular CBS episodes. Although at 2.5 hours seemingly every night, it will be admittedly hard to keep up with. That said, I couldn’t be more excited for this season to start. Here is an appetizer to whet your appetite. Short cast bios are as follows:

• Kristen Bitting, 24, boutique manager, Philadelphia
• Lane Elenburg, 24, oil rig salesman, Decatur, Texas
• Ragan Fox, 34, assistant professor, West Hollywood, Calif.
• Andrew Gordon, 39, podiatrist, Miami
• Britney Haynes, 22, hotel sales manager, Huntington, Ark.
• Kathy Hillis, 40, deputy sheriff, Texarkana, Ark.
• Matt Hoffman, 32, web designer, Elgin, Ill.
• Hayden Moss, 24, college student, Tempe, Ariz.
• Enzo Palumbo, 32, insurance adjuster, Bayonne, N.J.
• Rachel Reilly, 26, cocktail waitress, Las Vegas
• Monet Stunson, 24, model, Glen Carbon, Ill.
• Brendon Villegas, 30, high school swim coach, Riverside, Calif.
• Annie Whittington, 27, bartender, Tampa, Fla.

First impresssions from a High Country transplant

poo — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 21:31:48 +0000

It has been one year and a week or so since I moved to Boone, North Carolina. Boone is the self-proclaimed “Heart of the High Country” and home to Appalachian State University. Because it has been a full year, I now feel somewhat qualified (although readers may argue with this after reading my post) to comment on most things Boone. Remember, these are what I will call my “first impressions,” although the following thoughts have been contemplated for 53 weeks now.

North Carolina is a beautiful place to live. Even though I’m so far away from my family, the beauty of North Carolina and Boone specifically make the transition somewhat easier. At 3333 feet above sea level, Boone’s picturesque views are impressive. The balcony on the front of my dwelling is a perfect place to take in the surrounding mountain views.
The little things about living in a different state halfway across the country are the really noticeable things. For instance, North Carolina requires a yearly inspection for your vehicle. I recently paid the registration renewal fees for both our SUV and motorcycle. However, neither vehicle had been inspected prior to paying the registration so the NC DOT sent back the checks and informed me of the need to have the vehicles inspected. The motorcycle has now been inspected, costing me $13.60 in the process, with the inspection consisting of these integral procedures: Check tail lights, check brake lights, check turn signals, check horn. End result: roughly 45 seconds of bullshit. I don’t know what the car inspection will consist of, but I can’t wait to find out.

Charter Cable sucks fat sack. Prior to moving here, I was a proud member of the Dish Network family. I had service from Dish for 5 years and was incredibly impressed with their DVR and overall service. After moving here, I signed up for Charter because I wasn’t sure that my landlord would allow Dish in this townhouse. Perhaps I was spoiled with Dish and their dual-tuner DVR with massive storage capacity, but Charter’s DVR was WORTHLESS. If I let it go for a week and just record shows without deleting them, there would be little or no space. In the last month, I’ve since switched back to Dish (with the approval of the landlord) and currently have 300+ hours left on a DVR with nearly 20 shows and movies recorded on it. Plus, the HD service (now free for life with an automatic withdrawal) is pretty impressive.
Traffic in Boone is incomprehensible. This town has 14,000 people living here with that number doubled during school months. I defy anyone anywhere to alert me to another town of this size that has the traffic of Boone. I understand it is a tourist town (sort of), but this is ridiculous. I hope to have a picture to prove this ridiculousness soon.
Restaurants in Boone are solid. Perhaps because this town is like east coast hippie-central, there are more organic restaurants and grocery stores in Boone than I have ever seen before in my life. And the food is pretty fantastic. Two examples: Coyote Kitchen and Hob Nob Cafe.
Housing prices are out of control. All across the country, houses are selling for a fraction of what the buyer paid for them originally. Not in Boone. A simple ranch style brick house down the street from me is selling for $360,000. Seriously. In middle America, this house might go for $95,000. Maybe.

Overall, if you’re not looking to buy a house or have good cable television, Boone is a pretty nice place to live. Advice: Rent a place, put up Dish, and go get a Chorizo Boat from Coyote Kitchen. Delicious.

College Football Predictions for the Weekend of September 5th

poo — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 15:37:23 +0000

Since the last time I posted almost a year ago, my life has undergone some drastic changes. Just since May, I’ve gotten married to a beautiful and smart girl (now Mrs. Poo!) and moved halfway across the country from Iowa to North Carolina. I also quit my job and I’m now back in graduate school. However, this should now allow me to keep this long-neglected website more frequently updated. This is especially good news now that college football season starts this weekend (actually tonight, if you want to be specific)!

So to the picks. Last year I picked correctly at about a 72% clip, which is pretty damn good if I do say so myself. What I’m saying is that you need to listen to me when I tell you something is going to happen! I couldn’t be more excited for this season to get started. We have the greatest player in college football history (TIM FUCKING TEBOW!!) playing his last season at Florida. Plus, we have the returning Heisman winner in Sam Bradford and returning Heisman finalist Colt McCoy. And we have a WAY above average slate of games for the first weekend. At the conclusion of my picks this week I will be picking the national title game participants. Just for reference, last year, against the advice of everyone I know, I picked Florida vs. Oklahoma. Hmm…remind me who played for the title last year. I’m just sayin…

So for this week’s picks:

Miami (FL) @ #18 Florida State–Florida State wins by 7

I would prefer that this game ends in a 0-0 tie, both coaches get fired and both schools shut down their football programs. I hate both schools and I don’t trust either program, their quarterbacks, or the coaches. Actually, I don’t even know how Florida State is ranked. Seriously, Christian freaking Ponder is your quarterback? I actually feel slightly more comfortable with Miami’s QB situation with Jacory Harris under center, and I do like running back Graig Cooper. However, for some reason I’m picking FSU. Go figure.

#20 BYU vs. #3 Oklahoma @ the new Dallas Cowboys stadium–Oklahoma wins by 17

Let it be said that I really like BYU. I like their quarterback Max Hall, their running back Harvey Unga, and their coach Bronco Mendenhall. Actually, I was hoping Iowa State would hire Bronco Mendenhall when Gene Chizik decided to take his smug shittiness to Auburn. However, this is still Oklahoma. Sam Bradford is a stud and DeMarco Murray is going to have a big year, provided he can stay healthy. Oklahoma just has too much firepower. Should be a fun game to watch though.

#16 Oregon @ #14 Boise State–Oregon wins by 3

This game is actually tonight (Thursday) and should be a lot of fun to watch. If this game wasn’t being played on the blue turf, I would probably pick Oregon to win by more. Chris Peterson will have Boise ready to play and Kellen Moore will probably have a good game. Meanwhile, Chip Kelly takes over an Oregon squad that is pretty loaded on offense. Jeremiah Masoli and LeGarrette Blount lead the attack, which should put up a lot of points. Looking forward to this one.

#13 Georgia @ #9 Oklahoma State–Oklahoma State by 10

After Georgia flamed out last year after starting the season at #1, expectations are slightly lower this year. That may have something to do with Matt Stafford and Knowshon Moreno being gone. Georgia will still be tough, but Oklahoma State has some serious firepower. Zac Robinson to Dez Bryant will be one of the more successful QB-WR combos of this season. I’m not getting too crazy worked up about Okie State as a title contender just yet, though. I think they’ll be a lot like Missouri was a few years ago. Good, but not good enough to overtake Texas and Oklahoma. That said, they’ll win here.

and the game of the week:

#5 Alabama vs. #7 Virginia Tech @ the Georgia Dome–Alabama wins by 10

Honestly, I don’t think either of these teams should be ranked this high. Specifically Virginia Tech. VTech lost their starting stud running back to injury for the season and they have an incredibly overrated Tyrod Taylor running the show. I don’t see Taylor passing for over 150 yards here. I think the Alabama defense will absolutely shut down Tech, much like they did to everyone last year during the regular season. Remember that Clemson game last year to start the season, folks? More of the same here. The Alabama offense probably won’t blow the doors off anyone this year, but I don’t think they’ll have to. Although, I would watch out for their new quarterback Greg McElroy.

So there you have it. My picks for week one. It’s gonna be a great weekend! Drink up and let me know what you think.

College Football Predictions for the Weekend of October 25th

poo — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 14:48:50 +0000

After my disappointing last set of picks, I had to take last weekend off to regroup and refocus. Let’s hope that I’m back on track this week. Now that we’re in the heart of conference play, there are some pretty damn good matchups, so let’s get right to them.

#8 Texas Tech @ #19 Kansas–Kansas by 3

I love Mike Leach at Texas Tech. He’s nutty, has a great offensive mind, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see him leave Lubbock after this year for greener pastures. However, the Red Raiders have been cutting it close the last two weeks. They went into overtime with Nebraska two weeks ago and let Texas A&M hang around last week. If Kansas can control the clock and run the ball while letting Todd Reesing do what he does, they’ll win this game. I’ve been going back and forth on this game, but I’m taking Kansas.

#23 Boston College @ North Carolina-UNC wins by 7

UNC got knocked out of the Top 25 with a loss to Virginia. Boston College got into the Top 25 with a win against North Carolina State. I look for UNC to get back into the mix with a win here. The reason? UNC has picked off 14 passes this year. BC quarterback Chris Crane: 5 TDs, 9 INTs.

#9 Georgia @ #11 LSU–Georgia by 2

The SEC is so tough to predict and both of these teams are so good. I just think that Georgia has the edge in skill players right now and I think that will pull them through against a really tough LSU squad.

#3 Penn State @ #10 Ohio State–Ohio State by 7

Penn State has looked great this year, blowing everyone’s doors off (with the exception of the first half against Michigan). Ohio State is playing pretty well at this point and I’m going to say that PSU can’t stop Beanie Wells. Ohio State wins what could be a great game.

and finally…

#7 Oklahoma State @ #1 Texas–Texas wins by 10

This is the one that I hope I’m wrong about. I would so love to see Texas get beat here, but I just don’t see it happening. The Cowboys are playing great, but they would have to play perfect against Colt McCoy and the Longhorns. Doubtful.

College Football Prediction Updates for the Weekend of October 11th

poo — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:15:41 +0000

Not a good week here at Poo’s D&PS. I knew it was going to happen at some point, but hoped that I could hold off as long as possible. I finally had a losing week, finishing 2-3 picking the last slate of games. I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed in myself. That abomination brings my overall record to 28-11 for the year. Not bad, but I feel like I need to get back on track this week. I’ll do that when I bring you my newest set of picks. Until then, live the dream folks…

College Football Predictions for the Weekend of October 11th

poo — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 20:22:26 +0000

This is an amazing weekend for college football. There are a number of solid matchups Saturday. Let’s get right to it.

#17 Oklahoma State @ #3 Missouri–Missouri by 17

I never thought I’d say this about a Gary Pinkel team, but this could be Missouri’s year. They’ll win here, but the real test will be if they face Oklahoma in the Big 12 title game. They can’t beat the Sooners.

#4 LSU @ #11 Florida–Florida wins by 3

I don’t know how Florida is favored in this game (well, I do. It’s because they’re at home), and I’ll probably end up being wrong on this pick. But I’m sticking to my guns with Florida being in the title hunt at the end of the year. With that said, if they don’t stop the run, they will lose this game.

Notre Dame @ #22 North Carolina–North Carolina wins by 10

Notre Dame may very well be evolving into the quality team that so many pundits believe they are. I hope they do, but I’m not quite buying it yet. I actually think this will be a close game, so I’ll fall back on coaching. In that category, I’ll take Butch Davis over Charlie Weis every day of the week. He has UNC playing with confidence and intensity.

Colorado @ #16 Kansas–Colorado wins by 7

I’m still on the Dan Hawkins and Colorado bandwagon. Eventually one of my picks for them to upset a decent team will pay off. I’ll try it again this week. Kansas should have lost to Iowa State last week. Hopefully, they go down this week.

and finally…

#5 Texas vs. #1 Oklahoma–Oklahoma wins by 4

I think Oklahoma is the most complete team in the nation.
However, there is potential for an upset here. The problem for Texas
is their pass defense, not looking nearly as impressive as their stats
would indicate. Will Muschamp had better have them ready against Sam
Bradford, one of my favorite players in college football.

There you go folks. Read, respond, react.

College Football Prediction Updates for the Weekend of October 4th

poo — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 20:23:16 +0000

I’m a little pressed for time, but just wanted to let everyone know I went 4-1 (again!!), bringing me to 26-8 on the year. That is pretty good, if I do say so myself. Check out my picks for this week, up a little later today.

College Football Predictions for the Weekend of October 4th

poo — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 20:34:37 +0000

A few good games come our way this weekend, but no amazing matchups really. Let’s see what we’ve got here.

#13 Auburn @ #19 Vanderbilt–Auburn wins by 13

It’s crazy that Vandy is 4-0, but I gotta believe that this stops here against Auburn. The Tigers are still finding their offensive rythym, and Vandy might keep it close for a bit, but eventually this one gets ugly.

#5 Texas @ Colorado–Texas wins by 3

I would love to see the Buffs pull this one out, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. This could be the perfect time for Colorado to pull the upset, after getting smacked down against Florida State last weekend.

#14 Ohio State @ #18 Wisconsin–Ohio State wins by 3

Personally, I don’t like either one of these teams. But, of course, someone has to win. I’ll take OSU and Pryor.

#23 Oregon @ #9 USC–USC wins by 17

USC is going to try to make a statement in this game, I believe. And they better after getting beat by Oregon State last week. They should try to pour it on here against the Ducks, who are down to their 18th string quarterback.

and finally…

#4 Missouri @ Nebraska–Missouri wins by 900

Missouri hasn’t won in Lincoln approximately forever. That ends on Saturday. I see the Tigers running it up as much as possible this weekend, just letting the bluehairs in Lincoln know who’s boss.

Respond, react. Let me know what you think!